I.2 Yogash citta vrtti nirodhah.
We become whole by stopping how the mind turns.*
(You can hear a pronunciation of the sanskrit here.)
There have been moments (and whole nights) when I’ve seriously considered bashing my head against a wall if that action would stop the never-ending stream of thoughts, words, worries, annoyances, questions, projections, and whatever impossibly mundane sentences were running through my head. Because, let’s face it, there’s a whole lot of nasty shit going on in the world. There always has been a whole lot going on in the world - only nowadays, thanks to rapidly advancing technologies, it feels nearly impossible to avoid adding doomsday scenario upon doomsday scenario to the helpless thought tornado of WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO?!
When I first encountered Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra I.2 - Yogash citta vrtti nirodhah. (Translation: We become whole by stopping how the mind turns.) - my thoughts were as follows:
YES. DAMN THAT MIND. IT IS THE WORST. I WILL KILL IT AND FINALLY BE AT PEACE.
It might be obvious to you, but it took me a long time to realize that “stopping how the mind turns” actually does not mean one should cut the brain out of the skull and set it on fire.
I have been blessed to work with some amazing yoga teachers, and all of them have helped me (gradually, step by step, and one practice at a time) learn that thoughts themselves are not the enemy. It’s not the brain’s fault that it thinks; thinking is, quite literally, one of the human mind’s main functions.
Backing up even further, it was a relief to learn that, actually, neither my thoughts nor my feelings were the enemy. Thoughts and feelings, though sometimes painful, serve as guideposts to what needs to be addressed in our lives. Ignoring them doesn’t do very much good at all, but it takes time and effort (and very often the help of a trusted friend, teacher, or mental health professional) to learn how to read those guideposts.
Now, I have strategies for times when I would rather self-harm than hear another thought. When I realize the content of my thoughts or even the sheer number of thoughts is upsetting me, I pause. I shift my attention to my breath. The never-ending thoughts may continue streaming light-speed in the background - but my awareness of them shifts to a softer focus. The breath, the naming of the inhalation and then the exhalation, is what remains in focus in front of that stream. It is in the spaciousness created by standing in front of that stream that I can regroup, that I can see the world I want to create and fortify myself to act accordingly with that vision.
Luckily, even when focusing on the breath in one particular way gets old and thoughts start to overwhelm the space in my mind once more - there are thousands of ways to shift focus. Tools such as mindfulness, meditation, mantras, and more help me broaden my awareness away from examining each passing thought under a microscope towards a much, much wider worldview.
There is still a lot going on in the world, and there always will be. While it’s easy to be overwhelmed by the negative, by the hatred and greed that fuels our society, I believe it’s more important to find the strength and courage to love our broken world. Finding the power to pause in the midst of the ceaseless spinning of the mind, even if only for a moment, is the first step towards creating awareness. It is in the spaciousness of awareness that the heart and mind can work together to make compassion a daily part of our lives. It is in the spaciousness of awareness where thoughts and feelings can become tools we use to become whole.
Each breath, then, becomes an opportunity to create the world anew.
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If you’re interested in learning more about mindfulness, I highly recommend the teachings of Tara Brach and Thich Nhat Hanh.
*Roach, Michael, et al. “The Essential Yoga Sutra: Ancient Wisdom for Your Yoga.” The Essential Yoga Sutra: Ancient Wisdom for Your Yoga, Three Leaves Press, Doubleday, 2005.